Dear All
Thank you for your concern. William and I are still together and will alway be (i hope so) haha. Alright. The previous post may post as disturbing to some, but i won't be removing it still as it was my actual feeling. By removing it may defeat the purpose of keeping an online journal.
Yupz, I have finally booked my air tickets and hotel reservation for my BKK trip. Da nui ge, i'm coming! Yeah .. so happy!!! Hope you are still there yeah.
Alright, in another 2 weeks time i am officially a bachelor degree holder. Yah? Well~ not mouch of the excitement though, perhaps its due to my poor results. I am not achieving grades like in poly and to be honest i am not putting as much effort as i had in poly too. So who to blame. Well~ but i am grateful that i have managed to complete the course. Definitely a BIG Thank you to my uncle who paid for my school fees. Seriously, if i do have regret for not putting in enough effort? Not too sure about it. I can't weigh my poly grades against my current grades though. Afterall, i was a full time student then with no other burndens like household income, insurance, savings, etc.
I need not worry about all these. But now, i have more than any responsibilities. To say about that, I am a Financial Controller at home. Hah~ what a big name for that. Anyway, it worries me i were to get married and who is going to control and coordinate on all these stuff? Sometimes, i really want to tell my siblings to wake up their idea and stop depending on me to deal with all these stuffs. Can't they use some initiative as well? Sigh~
Anyway, met this really cute, handsome charming model at the Fox fashion on Saturday! Woah~ if only he is mine! OMG! Nett bet you did not regret going with me to the show though you are not feeling well huh. hur hur hur still got touched by the waist! Bleah
Here are the photos ...
the youthful us while waiting for the show ...
my the other half ...
her scandal ....
but ... the reality ...
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, March 26, 2007
For once i thought i was right this time, the only thing which i need to focus now would be my career.
How it all started? 15th March was our 9th Month, you said to celebrate on 16th instead since it's a friday. I am all geared up for it, waiting for that day to arrived. Excited to be out with you again, it's been such a long time since we went out for movie and dinner together. Pretty long i guess in a lover's space.
Finally, it's friday, yeah, the reason why i'm looking for friday to arrive. All anticipated and prepared. I decided to do a little more make-up which i normally don't do full make-up. It's uncomfortable anyway. So for you, i wanted to look pretty. The trouble is all worth it, i packed and brought my clothes to office to change so that i can be well dressed up as well.
Greeted you in the morning. As usual, there is no reply from you. Alright it is normal i told myself. Time past and it's noon, yet i have received any sms from you. So i decided to call ya. Guess you were buzy then, that's why there was no response. Alright, telling myself anyway the date is confirm, we just need to decide the place. We have set the time, didn't we?
So i went for my lunch, keeping my hp close to me, knowing that you might ring anytime. Waited ... soon my lunch break is over. My Hp is as quiet. It's ok, it's only about 2 plus, so i thought just wait till 3 then i will ring again.
Finally, you called. I am so happy that i finally hear your voice for the 1st time. I rattered off. Asking you where are we going to meet, what show should we watched, where shall we dine, where should be go or do after the moive, etc. And so i ended my questions. Your replied, "my mum sprained her neck again". In my heart, i know what you going to say, but i hope that you will say something different instead. Then, there you go "shall we not watched movie today?"
Yesh, that's it. My heart broken into pieces. I am pissed for the second for you made your promise and break it. This is not the 1st time. Why must you choose such an occassion to break your promise? Though you have said to meet on Saturday instead after your work. Shock, to say anything. I decided to hung up on you.
Again, right after i have hung up. I am waiting and waiting. Waited for my hp to beep! Yesh, finally it does in the evening around 7plus. But it's not you.
Since, I have loads of Welcome letters to do, though Jessica had offered to do it for me on Saturday. I decided to stay in office to cont'd to do. Hoping that you might popped by any moment to surprise me. I cont'd to do my letters and other work. The clock strike 12. Guess you will not be coming anyway. Finished my stuff, packed up, it's 12.30am. So headed home, keeping my hp close to my side. Waiting for the good nite message from you. But my phone was silent throughout my sleep.
Waking in the middle of my sleep, checking on my phone, telling myself that i might have missed to beep sound from it. I checked, and went back to sleep and hope again.
Soon, it's time to wake up and meet up with my project mates. Discussing ... time passes, it's around 3.30pm, my phone is still quiet. It's not in silent mode, i have checked. Finally, my phone rang. My face grow again, thinking that you might have called to tell me that you want to meet me after my project. Since, you have said to meet on Saturday after my proj and your work to batch up things. So of cause i am anxious waiting for your call. I have again made the effort to doll myself up so that i can meet you any mintue on your call. Well, the phone call was from Han. Thanks to him, i do not have a lonely nite. Since i received no news from you, i have decided to go blading with him and his friends.
The night breeze was good. Thanks han for accompanying me though you do not what had happened. Well~ at least we have time to catch up.
So you finally called closed to meet up asking if i am still angry. Promising me that you will make up on Sunday. Fine, i am rather half hearted now. After my conversation with han, shant' elaborate further.
Anyway, Sunday soon to come. Again waiting is a chore. But still i waited, you finally msged me but the contents in your msg does not pleased me at all. You said " i am on my way to work, and meet up for movie and dinner later" So again, giving myself false hope. Alright, it's wrong of me not to reply u, but really angry and confuse of my feelings now. I was telling myself, i should get myself started on my project, you may pop out any moment. So, yes i have work hard on my project. It's 3pm, your message finally come. Before i have open it i thought you would be telling me that you have finish your task and coming over now. But again, i am wronged. Rightfully wrong. You said you will come by 6pm.
What? 6pm? It's a Sunday evening, meeting at 6pm, what else can we do? Fine, so i gave negative reply anyway, thinking that you will come by straight away. But no, you never did. No reply either. So again, i waited. Telling myself that you might pop by at 6pm despite me telling you that we might as well don't meet. So i get prepared again. Do my necessary house chores. Bathed Lucky had my masked. Finally, 6pm has arrived.
Again, it's another false alarm. You are no where near. There's no reply from you either. So i decided to msg you again, telling you it's 7pm. But again there wasn't any reply from you. So, maybe i should try calling you. I have called and put down. You have called but i am not talking. You msged and ask if i want any dinner but i never replied. Soon your next msged comes, asking if i want to play mahjong.
In my mind, what else can i think of, you have found the next activity to do since you are not meeting me anyway. But you said your mum wanted to play and ask me over to play. Well~ no thanks. Who still have the mood to play mahjond at this state? Isn't it obvious that there is something wrong with us? Can't you feel it? So i have texted and told you that perhaps we should go separate way. Isn't this a big big hint to you that you better come over now or else worst is to come? BUT NO! NEVER DID YOU COME BY OR EVEN REPLIED THAT MSG!!! HURT, I MORE HURT THAN EVER WITH YOU! SO I MSGED YOU THE LAST TIME TELLING YOU THAT SINCE THERE WAS NO REPLY FROM YOU I WILL TAKE THE ANS AS THAT YOU HAVE AGREED TO THE IDEA OF SEPARATION! AND YES, YOU FINALLY REPLIED. AND YOUR REPLY" ok then. Maybe we will take a short period of time to think thru wat actually happened."
Faint! Speechless, sad, hurts, more confused than ever. Always thinking that i had met the right man and may get engaged any moment and our rom and dream marriage has gone down the drain.
With that, effective from today, i have returned to my singlehood life and i shall not anticipate your calling, smsing, appearance. We are now separated and you don't belong to me. Will we be together again. It depends and i don't want to give myself any more false hope.
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, March 18, 2007
Woah ... 315posts till date!
What is blog all about? In technical term, it was a weblog - yeah a web-log for the posting of events, comments, journals for people to comment. However, we have been using it as our daily life journal. A little misuse of the initial idea of a web-log however, truely it does a useful thing.
Many of us have been using it to jolt down our life events which had taken place and shared with friends around. We may not be able to keep in touch every day like we used to, but with this we are unable to get ourselves updated in the happenings of your friends. Well~ it's a nosey job though but "informative" in a sense too right?
Remember me complaining of those girly friends i have. Sigh~ anyway, i am still keeping them close to my heart. Was just reading some of their blogs and the urge of being there for them is strong. Well, like i said it takes two hands to clap. So i decided to give up the idea of leaving a comment behind or what. I do feel of what people think of me though. Yupz, smsing, msning, i have tried, but the cold shoulder received are what i am speechless about. I got no comments. But i do still cherish this friendship.
So if u are reading my blog, i do hope we can meet up some days soon. To you, i wish the best in your health, i understand things aren't working right at your end, but i do hope you are doing well.
To many of yous, cupid may not be working hard, or fate is playing with you. Nevertheless, i do hope you are enjoying every single second with the special some body. I always remember this phrase from someone; zhi shao ni men chen jin xiang ai guo, you were both once deeply in love is what it matters most.
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, March 12, 2007
Omigod! what have i done to my blog. Just wanna do a little edit but .. looks like all the items have been strike!!!
Arghh .. not sure where i have placed my macromedia installation disc! Damit! just let it be lar .. seldom update also. Anyway, Mango is back! Yeah! Finally, missed him so much!
Our latest photo (with my new hairsyle) =) xin fu de xiao nu ren:
Ke ai de lucky (woof woof - see no evil):
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, March 11, 2007
It's been quite a while since i last blog. Haven't been getting peaceful sleeps these days. Yes, the days are nearer and i have decided. Not too sure what the outcome will be, but definitely would not be an easy one. The bosses will not be agreed to my decision though. Some friends have already know and are supportive of my decision. Mum agrees to it and ask me to take my time to find a suitable one. Hubby is there for me and supports me in what ever i do. Thanks dear.
Anyway, guess i need to put down this huge burden within me to walk a longer distance. You will never know without trying it. Hence, this would be the decision i am taking for i have longed for me, finally i am graduating i should work towards my big time dream, to be a marketer. Yah ...
Anyway, it's been 5 days since i last seen him. This feeling really taste awful. Well, though we only meet up during the weekend, the hours of seeing him does not differ, but the thoughts of him on the other island makes me feel love sick. It makes me miss him even more. Soon, friday is coming and hope and it will pass fast for i longed for Saturday when i can hug him again. Dear, jia you, dun give up! Ask you to bring more clothes le, don't want to listen, now fall sick le, how? You ah, dunno how to take care of yourself leh.
I can't wait any longer. SATURDAY please arrive!!!
yourstruly crapped @ Thursday, March 08, 2007
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