"The true measure of ur wealth is how much
you be worth if you lost all your money."
Well~ i'm rite ... the new gal has resign le. Yupz, come on, she's an air stewardess leh how will work this kind of job. Yah, n the guy is back. Yupz, a funnie guy, haaha. Hmm well~ sales sux n sux. No comments abt it.
Yeah~ Friday is drawing near hur! N we are gonna club this fri. Haha so fun, n excited, gonnna be great huh. Hmmm feel like getting drunk again... yeah .. haha ...
yeah yeah .. actually nothing much to blog tonite .. just feeling kinda moody .. dunch noe why ... perhaps .. my big aunt is coming
yourstruly crapped @ Thursday, July 29, 2004
sigh~ another suxy day of life. 2nd day without ben n kat. Sigh~ really miss them alot. n now yeq chong tender le. mulian also soon ... lenz seraching for job le. grace hai~ planning le. Sigh~ me??? still stuck? do i really like this job, well i have totally no idea. It's kinda boring n definitely stressful. yupz. when got sales, of cas feels great lor, but when ur sales like shit then fuck this job man!
yah, and today the 2 new r/o nv come work. aiyo they just came in yesterday then today both mc. looks like both won't be staying long for this job.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
can't take it anymore. i really miss him lotz. just now trying open a file, dunch noe how come suddenly click on a folder. when open it contain the photos during my bdae last yr. sigh~ my most memorable bdae of my life.
"If you don't like something change it.If you can't change it.
Change your attitude. Don't complain" -- Maya
Lord of the Rings!
What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!) brought to you by Quizilla
yourstruly crapped @ Wednesday, July 28, 2004
What Finding Nemo Character are You? brought to you by Quizilla
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, July 26, 2004
haven't been blogging lately well ...
Thursday ---
i was sick, nv go work. Actually, i went chinablack on wed n yah only reach home abt 2+. Well the intention was nt to go work the next day. Keke~ but didn't expect myself to really fall sick! Yupz, so for thurs i'm really a good gal. Stay at home n sleep the whole day.
Friday ----
Yeah~ the day finally comes. Keke, my DIVING TRIP AT PULAU AUR. Yahz. Somehow, got a fever on fri but who cares, i want my dive n i paid for it. Yah. Meet Luke (instuctor) at lavender mrt at abt 7.30pm then wait for the bus to arrive. Yeah, took a 4hrs ride to m'sia dunno wat jetty n got onto a boat n weeeee ... there we go ... AUR ... Yeah yeah ... sleep in the boat.. arghhh it was so squeeze. Can't turn myself on the bed. All thanks to alvin (sleep so near to myron), then myron no space so sleep closer to my side n my kissing the wall~~ haha .. but after all we are too tired to care so much. yeah~ another 4hrs ride n we reach AUR.
Saturday ---
We were then lead to our dom n yeah yeah manage to the get the bottom bed while the guys sleep on top. Haha~ yah sleep for abt 1 1/2 hrs n get ready for our 1st dive. Hmmm, i was very nervous during the 1st dive. Oh gosh ~ the tank was really heavy!!! haaa ... yeah but i'm lucky huh .. all the guys so nice help me to carry this n that .. haha .. yah .. n a huge step i'm out of the boat n into the sea. Weeee wosh~ Holding on tight to the rope n at the same time deflate my BCP n here i go sinkkkkk. Yah finally i reached the bottom of the sea. 7meters deep. haha but i'm too light n kept floating upwards. Yeah yeah. We did some revision of what we had learn earlier on in the pool. Yeah n swim ard leaded by alex.
Yupz, we did a total of 3 dive on saturday.
Sigh~ got my retest in the nite. Luckily there's help from melissa if nt i gonna flunk this paper again. Oppps i feel so bad when i manged to pass n she failed. Sigh~ anyway she score very well for the next retest.
Sunday ---
We went for our 4th dive n this time round with free descent - that means without ropes. Haha, Yah this dive was abt 9-12meters. Again we swim ard n nemoooooo. Yesh yesh i saw so many nemoooo (clown fish). They were so cute. Haha n we were so mean tryin to disturb them. Yeah~ there were so many fishes which i nv see b4. Oh yah there's one which is very colorful. Like rainbow... woooo .... yeah yeah . N this time round we took pics during our dive. Haha so fun. Yah finally saw one turtle which is rather huge. Haha so cute ... when it swimsss ...
Yeahhhh Luke commented that my free descending skills were excellent!!! haha so happy n proud. Well~ then we rested for a while, waited for our tanks to get refilled n go for the last dive.
Yupz, did the same thing, just that time round there's mild current. Omg, the current though was mild but strong enuff to swept me away. Haha.
Throughout the whole trip, i really enjoy myself alot -- yesh with the funnie moves of alvin. Haha he's really a cute guy - making a fool of himself to cheer us up when we get neseua. Yupz. Oh yah, most of us got our nose bleed when we came out of each dive. Yucks. it's disgusting. N the part i hated most was the clearing mask. Letting the water to go in n blow the water out thru ur nose n so on. Arghhh hate this.
Well~ finally it's time to go back to singapore. Really can't bear to leave. I had fell in love with the sea. It's so relaxing n stress-free. There, u got everything out of ur mind - yesh even him!!! Great huh. But sigh~ the time is so short over there. On the way back to sgp. There were discussing abt BGR again. Sigh~ n him had return back home (my mind). I was thinking it wld great if he is still ard with me, making this dive trip n it will be so romantic! But sigh~ yeah. Can't remember wat they were toking abt, then Lenz said something then i told him it's time for me to move on n so ... yeah~ "u will get a better guy" that's wat he says. But, again who will be better? Much more perfect than him? Really dunnno.
Yupz, Reached home, switch on the com n read her blog. Hmmm so he had went in? Tot he is going in in Oct. Sigh~ again i start missing him. U knoe. when we were together i am always thinking when this day really come i will want to be there to sent him in n wait for him to book out. Then when he book out, go to his place n accompany him. Cook for him. Massage him n so on. Yah, typical gal.... Sigh~ but now ...
Anyway it's getting late, gonna sleep. Tomorrow chiong for sales!!!
"Flip to new pages, only then can u start writing, nt reading"
yourstruly crapped @
huixin, in your Cinderella story, you'd get to Topple Your Evil Stepsisters Whether you're battling evil stepsisters, arguing against an unfair grade, or trying to put a bully in their place, one thing's for sure — you fight for the underdog. Let's face it: The world's not always fair. But you, more than others, know you can help make a difference.
So whether you're leading a rally cry, starting a new club, or just welcoming the new girl in school before the mean kids get a chance, you've got a strong sense of what's right and wrong and are armed with the smarts to fight for justice. So roll up your sleeves, Cinderella. You might not always feel like people notice your efforts, but deep down everyone knows you're the real belle of the ball
yourstruly crapped @ Wednesday, July 21, 2004
another 5 more days, n i'll be leaving singapore for my scuba trip. Yuppie, n hopefully i can get my mind set n leave all things behind after this trip. Well~ *touch wood* if anything happens to me during the trip, i hope he will be able to con'td this blog for me.
Afternoon. mama came back with all the old chang kee junks! haha, yah just the two of us left at home. So sat down tok n eat. N mama tok abt him today! Can't really remember wat we were toking abt - n tada she start mentioning his name again. Sigh~ then finally told mama that he has a gf now. n blah blah blah
Were in YMCA mac for like 3hrs plus going thru' all the theory work. N yeah~ i flunk my test. Hmm, anyway i also nv study hard. Only started studying today, n can't concentrate either. Was chatting with kath at the same time studying.
After the test, we went makan at starthub building ... some jap restrauant. Haha~ melissa n i ordered kids meal. Yah yah, then the waitress who took the order say it's okie to order kids meal. Then, another waitress came along n serve us the food n say ... "who are the two kids" wahaha ... n realise all adults with no kids ard!!! Lol , then told us only kids below 12 can order kids meal. Keke, anyway the food has already been served so just let it be.
Yupz, below is my team photos... keke look more like poly class pic ...
+ missing --> mulian, dennies, yujin, n tracy+
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, July 19, 2004
Went gym today, yupz after all the "sinful" graving. *keke* After the gym work out then went kath place wait for her to get changed n set out for town. Yupz, finally get to meet up with some of my dance friends (eugene, alex, wq, geri, liling, jolene, n james) Hmmm, everyone still the same, except for me - putting on weight. Yah yah, my face is so much chubbier now. Okie i noe i noe, will do something abt it.
Movie movie movie. Yeah~ mean gals. Yupz, now adays there's so many bitches, slut, whore ard. So better be careful huh, hur hur hur!!!
Anyway, gonna bath n sleep early n wake up damn early tmr to study my theory for scuba. Haven't start a single chapt! Better nt fail it, if nt lenz gonna nag at me more le. haha ~ ciao ...
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, July 18, 2004
Today after work, went to meet teddy bear. Yupz, he had finally complete his reservist. Haha, bear was planning to go some jap rest. to makan at cuppage. Somehow, elvis n the rest was too hungry n we settled at mos burger instead. N this bear really can eat, he ordered so much food. Haha~ oh yah, then we cannot finish the fries, so end up - at 1st elvis n i played scissors papper n stone n the looser for each round will eat one fries, n end up i'd ate up almost 3/4 of them!!! damit! i nv been that bad in this game. At least i noe i used to win someone - esp in the game "ji gu ba" haha ... still remember that day we took train from Doby gaut all the way to sengkang n i act. won all the rounds except for a few.
So yesh~ we add more pple to play the game 5 10 15. N haha, i eat the fries again. Yupz, it was fun!!! cas i kept eating. oh did i mention teddy bear is much tanner now ... whoo shuai dou le .. haha Kae kae, tmr gonna meet kath go gym. But in the morning gonna studie for my scuba theory - test is on sunday!!! n i've nt studie ... die~ yupz. N in the evening will be meeting my lau gong (wq) n the rest for movie - mean gals!!!
yeah ... n below is the pic which was taken on the day when damien book out.
k k ... i'm fatter now ... haha ... eat n sit n sleep....
yourstruly crapped @ Saturday, July 17, 2004
Your Existing Situation
Impulsive and irritable. Her desires, and the actions involved, are paramount, with insufficient consideration being given to their consequences. This leads to, or arises from, stress and conflict.Your Stress SourcesResilience and tenacity are being overtaxed by the continued attempt to overcome existing difficulties. Sticks to her objectives but feels subjected to intolerable pressure. Considers it impossible to change the situation into one of cooperation and mutual trust and so desires to be free of it altogether.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Exacting in her emotional demands, especially during moments of intimacy leaving her frustrated in her desire for a perfect union.
Very exacting in the standards she applies to her choice of a partner and seeking a rather unrealistic perfection in her sex life.
Your Desired Objective
Has an imperative need for some bond or fusion with another which will prove sensually fulfilling, but which will not conflict with her convictions or sense of fitness.
Your Actual Problem
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond her capabilities, or reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. She attempts to escape into a substitute world in which things are more nearly as she desires them to be.
Your Actual Problem #2
Anxiety and a restless dissatisfaction, either with circumstances or with unfulfilled emotional requirements, have produced considerable stress. She tries to escape into an idealized atmosphere of sympathy and understanding, or into a substitute environment of estheticism and beauty.
Thank you for using http://www.ColorQuiz.com/
yourstruly crapped @
LOVING ONE. You need safety in your relationship.
You want to be sure in his/her arms, knowing
that he will protect you and you can be totally
devoted to your other. At this point you are
very vulnerable. You open yourself and dont
even think that he/she could cheat you. You
totally trust your partner in every single way.
SO if you find out that she/he lied to you or
played a game this trust is broken. You may try
to forgive your other but this will be very
difficult.He/She has to be friendly and
trustworthy.
~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~ brought to you by Quizilla
yourstruly crapped @ Thursday, July 15, 2004
Well ... kelly svc party today. Yupz, we had our buffet dinner @ moonfish. Yum yum the food tast real nice. Sigh~ the oreo cheese cake ... is so .. jst somehow bring back memories again, my 5th mth anniversary. Anyway, grace, yujin n elvis were nominated to participate in the oldies pageant. Hahaa, n yujin won. Yupz! oh yah, nt forgetting wendy (manager) too.
Kaez, just came across this site, or rather a blog. Hmmm saw this gal saying abt another gal. Wahahaha, perhaps, she just feel insecure of her current relationship to be ruin by the former gf ba. Oh yah n she just criticise the gal n so on. My comment is, if she really dislike her so much, then why get so agitated n commenting her in ur blog. Contradicts huh? Haha, or i shld say she is just afraid, scare, insecure, worried ... etc. Anyway, she is still young lar, 1st r/s is always like this. 1st is seldom the last. So just got to face it.
ming tian hui gen hao~
yourstruly crapped @
Bad sales .... bad sales .... seriously really moodie these days. Sigh~ ben n kath is resigning, n now grace also wanna resign!!! damn it! I hate this feeling of loosing someone again. She came online with her msn nick n her blog add. Well~ perhaps she did it on purpose so that she can show me n tell me indirectly how happy she n her bk bunny is! Well~ watever pregnant thingy is nt wat u think as of a prank or trying to win him back k. Dun assume things like wat u say k. This pregnant joke is btw myself n my classmates. All arise becas of my check-up at KK womens' hospital due to some wat ever cancer shit illness which i will get in dunno how many yrs down the road - n i dunch wanna tok abt this anymore, as long as i dunch get the cramp every mth will do. Wat ever cancer shit i will get ... it will be in the future n i shan't tok abt it!!! Yah yah, as if i wan to cry? LOL, remember wat u've told me, telling me nt to worrie, saying u won't let urself into this r/s too much, n say that u will survive w/o him n so on???? Haha naive thinking k. Love is nv as easy as u think. Had read ur blog n hear ur thoughts, well i used to think wat u are thinking now n wat u are going thru now. N i still have the same thoughts n feelings, it nv changed, the feelings for him is just too strong. Wat u have heard, or rather wat we had heard are rumours abt him -whether it's true ant, i also dunch wanna noe. I love him for who he is n nt for his past. Pple ask me why am i nt questioning his past n so on? I've told them, those are his past, whether it happened ant it doesn't matter to me, for who i love is him n nt his past. Say wat u wanna say, say i'm trying to earn pity from pple n so on, by whinning so much ... etc. If u are my position, u will do the same too k. U may nt agree with me now, but when it comes to u, then u will noe how it feels k. Well~ when he is 30, n u 29?? Saying I do? Well~ he used to ask me b4 too. I asked him b4 will our r/s act. last? As in for such a long time till the day we get married? N his ans was, "why u dun trust me? no confidence in me?" sigh~ see??? Come on, gal, this is just the honey moon stages u care going true. Perhaps, u are luckier than me - becas he loves u more than he loves me ba.
Last nite on the cab home with kath, she told me her ex was actually engaged. Sigh~ i really feel sad for her, becas this guy just broke up wtih her like 1 1/2 mth ago, n now he is act. engaged. Sigh~ the story of kath had act. turns out that she was innocently a 3rd party in her ex r/s. Wat a jerk!!! Sigh~ n i told her, even if he come back to me, i will still accept him. N she told me the same, even if her ex's ROM is called off n return to her, she will still accept him. She even said to him that, she dun mind to have a 3rd party in their r/s, somehow it's so ironic. Then, we went on saying, it wld be so nice if after work, ur bf is down there to pick u up. No matter how stressful this job is, everyday OT i also dun mind, becas i noe i will be able to end the day with a smile, to see him there for me, cheering me.
Anyway, this morning on the buz, i saw this gal who i gt attracted to. Haha, yah it's a gal. Well~ a butch??? haha dunch really look like leh. A punk??? nt so too. Well~ she just look handsome, n haha her chest is rather flat. ok ok, she caught me keep looking at her... n she return the look too. Opps~ maybe will be able to get to see her again tmr morning. Sigh~ but i dun think i wanna be a les. hai~ mixture of feelings lar.
Hey, to clarify, i nv say u sleep with him k. Wat cheapo are u toking abt. I only ask as in share the bed. Wat's wrong with that, by sharing bed? Sigh~ Say i assume things. tok abt urself k. u have him to side u, so wat. Just take it that u are collecting some rubbish i've thrown lor. Someone who i had already used b4. although it's still recycleable. blah. Oki, i'm just being mean, well i dunch mean too, this is wat pple ask me to think so that i can feel better. But it doesn't help much either. Becas in my eyes, u are nothing! It is him who i care abt kaez.
Tmr D n D at moonfish by kelly services, hmmm wonder wat's the event abt? Looks like my colleagues all wanna ciao early, think i follow them lar, then go take my medical report for my diving. Just pray that i will pass the heart pressure test. If not i really cannot go diving. Sigh~
It's so unfair!!! Why must i go thru all these sickness??? Wat have i done wrong? Why am i born with this illness? Why? why? why? Why shld my loved ones leave me? Why did he change? Why he promise to take care of me? Why he say he will marry me? Why he say he will love me forever? Why am i being such a fool to believe in all these? Perhaps, being ill is good, then i can leave this world asap, n leave these memories behind.
yourstruly crapped @ Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Whole family went for breakfast together. So happie~ it was like for dunno how many donkeys ages since we last had meal together, when we used to go out for breakfast every sunday morning. Yupz, that was those days when my dad biz was up, n when we were still young. Now, life has changed. We learn to be more thrifty n spend on wat ever is necessary. We had dim sum @ PS, using the NKF voucher. After breakfast, walk ard PS, then kor trade in his phone n bought N6600. Hmmm N6600 is nt bad, resolution is clear n the shutter speed is rather fast. Then, my mum, sis n me went shopping. Went taka fox to look for kelly (ah eng jie jie), yah n from there i bought a shorts - to wear when i go diving. Mum left us early cas she need to work in the evening. So me n shan walk ard orchard. GOsh~ i'm fat, really fat man. I lost my curve. No more wasit now!!!! My double chin is out. everywhere is putting on more meat except for my BOOBS!!! Idoit, so unfair! Can't i have i bigger boobs??? n a smller waist??? Sigh~ k tired on quite a few pieces of clothing n just can't fit. Anyway, i've managed to buy a skirt, a pants n a top for office wear. Gonna be broke soon .... so fast 3/4 of my pay is gone le. Sian~ gonna eat grass liaoz.
Trying hard to let things go ... but sigh ~ he just keep appearing in mind during the shopping trips. Hopping he'll be there to give me suggestions. Hopping he can see me in office wear ... which he always does...
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, July 12, 2004
Haven't been bloggin for the past days. Yup, was too tired n lazy to come online. N my health wasn't that pink for the past days. Was down with flu n now a slight dirreoa ... sigh~ think i got stomach flu. Anyway, last sat i had my swimming test, sun my scuba diving training. Yup, learn to put on the equipment, the oxygen tanks, and the parts to be connected. Seriously, the tank is nt light k!!! Gosh~ i was actually carrying the smallest tank n i find it heavy on the actual day at puala riau i will be carrying the big one!!! Was trying to breath with my mouth n it was so damn hard! At 1st it was okay, till i was tryin to clean away the fog in the goggles when in the water. I got choke by the water. Silly me, i act. breath with my nose when i try to lift up the goggles to let the water to flow out. The act. way of doing is suppose to breath out thru' the nose n nt breath in. N i was shivering at the same time. Was toking to alvin then my mouth was like ... kekeke ... so cold. Haha~ i'm so light, i can't stay at the bottom of the pool, so in the end got the help from alex (my dive master) to pull me down, so i won't float ard. haha~ After the training, we went tiong bahru hawker to have our dinner. Okie, i got to eat my favourite shui kueh n roasted pork with char siew rice from tiong bahru hawker. Then teddy bear ordered so much!!! Woah~ he really can eat manz! Hokkien mee, shui kueh, fried oster egg, satay, sugar cane juice, n ice jelly. Alamak~ wat a stomach he has. We chatted for quite a while, n go separate ways. Me, melissa, lens n alvin went bugis to shop ard for awhile n went home.
Yupz, today teddy bear went for reservice le. Keke* N i called up a customer today, n so conincidence, bear was beside him. This cust. of mine is act. bear's friend!!! haha, well~ no choice he in camp how to ask him to do BT with me. Sigh~ During dinner time, my colleagues were toking abt sex n relationship. One i got to agree with is that, the one u gonna marry to will nt be the one u love most. N also, it is important to choose a partner who is able to satisfy ur needs on the bed. Can u imagine surviving in bed with someone who can't meet ur standard, n delivering up to ur standard, meeting ur needs???? Neh~ i can't k.
Then they were saying, find one day, everyone bring out their bf or gf for a gathering n see who are the most loving couple, who normally is the taker, or the given n so on. Come to this point of time, sigh~ i got no bf! perhaps, i shld say i got no physical bf. How about in my heart??? Hmmm~
On the way back to office, Kat was saying her aussie bf will be back in nov. Sigh~ so lucky of her to have someone who dotes on her so much. Who is willing to wait for her at her void deck for 6 whole hrs. This is just remind me of there's this time i was late for 10mins, n i got scolded by him. Yeah~ him again... yesh it's him there's no other than him, he is the only one i'm thinking abt! Kat was asking, don't i feel lonely? Yeah~ i do feel a little lonely without him, i do wish n hope that there will be someone there for me to await me to finish work. To be there when i need him, to be there when i am sad, one who i can share my problems.
As i blog along, i feels that life has become more n more meaningless ~
yourstruly crapped @ Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Down with flu but still got to work. Slept @2am last nite, then woke up @7am to prepare for work. Fell alseep in the bus, and almost missed my stop. Yupz, whole balcon team came back today. Then morning, leader YJ like abit siao siao, early in the morning bad mood. But after awhile okie. After work, hang out with bear n elvis. Together with bear n ben, we walk to bugis. Ben left us to meet his friend. So i accompany bear to Bugis reds to cut his hair. Shortly later, elvis, came to meet me while i'm waiting for bear to get his haircut. Walk ard with elvis to look for some cute stuff for his gf. But end up didn't buy anything. Yah. Bear came to meet us at the fountain. Didn't recognise bear @ 1st after his cut, till elvis call him from behind. Took me quite a second to realise it's bear. Haha~ he really look so boyish now. Keke, after makan @ the hawker, elvis went off to hang out with his gf, leaving me with bear. So both of us just shop ard seiyu bugis to get his swimming trunk. Keke, then met bear's friend, then tok for quite awhile b4 we left for queenstown. Then he show me his 72 bian hairstyle. Haha~ didn't realise he actually has so many hairstlye during sch days. Okie~ i dun go ard n notice pple except for the particular him in mind. Yah~ then bear told me his ex ask him go watch movie tmr. Hmmm~ how wish my ex will ask me to go watch movie also. Sigh~ he say he nv change no. But then why is pple ard me having his new no??? So wat exactly is going on? Bear show me the msg he msg them telling them he change no. Hmmm~ then why he told me he manage to retain his no? Well~ swimming test was fine. Just 4 laps n keep urself afloat on the water for 10mins n that's it. K my flu is getting worst. While on the way home, walking down the NEL train @ doby gaut, start to think of him again. Used to walk with him everytime. Feel that at any moment i gonna faint. I'm so weak now. Can't concentrate. Sigh~ wishing he'll be there to hold me n say "bao bei, sleep tight, i'll be here dun worrie."
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, July 04, 2004
"... waiting for u to call me on the telephone .... say u want me back...." Sigh~ why am i feeling down down down again??? WHy why why??? Sigh~ i'm thinking abt him again. Saw their msn pic just, well are they really that close now??? Sigh~ i'm thinking more n more each day. Why am i keep giving myself false hopes? Why am i keep thinking of the past? Going to his house, spending time together, massaging him on his back, covering the blanket for me at nite, saying good nite baobei, holding hands, our 1st kiss, our 1st date at the zoo, lying on his shoulder, sleeping on his lap, my bdae, his bdae, our 1st broke up n patch back, all the msges he sent to me, the sentosa trips, KTV session - hua cai tian tang, steam boat, christmas gathering with his family n friends, national day with daphne n her bf, CNY celebration at my place, his place, ah kee jie jie house, ah eng jie jie house, ivan's house, christmas celebration at alex's house - he got angry with me becas i was too sound asleep n nv hear him toking, 2004 count down @ boon lay n WQ house, and all the wild things we had done together... I miss him? I miss him not? Sigh~ one thing to say "I LOVE HIM". Somehow, i just relate every moment of my life with him, watch movie also think of him, sleep also think of him, every corner of my house just has his appearance, how am i gonna get out of this world??? DEATH - silly girl, wat are u thinking abt??? Hai~ already leave sch le why are u thinking much? IF u love him then set him free, let him be happy! But i just wan to be with him, i've come to a point dunch mind having a third party in the relationship as long as i can have him, hug him, to love him. Tired ~ i'm really tired in walking ard this circle. When am i ever get myself out? ANother 2yrs? Like wat i had done for J*mes? I've finally forget one, n learn to love one, n now i have to forget this one. Didn't he say he will love me forever? Cherish me? Taking good care of me? Hah~ even toking abt sex after marriage life. He told me to trust him when we were in our 1st stage of our relationship. Saying that he is committed n so on. I was even planning of marriage, family, no. of kids, n blah blah. Still remember at WQ house, b4 we were together, we were toking till dawn, he said he wanna get married at the age of 30. I still remember lotsa lotsa things. =(
yourstruly crapped @ Friday, July 02, 2004
I'm sick. Throat is dry, my head is heavy. I think i've catch a cold. Sigh~ tired n sleepy. On the way home, caleb said i got a very sad face, as in my expression is always "sad". Well~ true, i've nv been happy b4 after the broke up. Life just turns upside down without him. No matter how pple try to cheer my up, it only last for a while. How i wish i won't let them down, but somehow, i just let my emotion runs. Sigh~ WTH. Anyway, was on the phone with this cust today, n he said i'm cute. Keke *blushing*, that was becas i'm too confuse with so many things to do. Got to do follow up, save my MIS, save my masterleads then help grace n kat. N i got really confuse, plus i'm not feeling well today, my stomach feels weird. Perhaps had eaten too much recently. Yupz, tor is the spiderman movie, again it's on company treat!!! Yah, hope i'll enjoy. Good nite
yourstruly crapped @
Life moves on as per normal. Nothing much special. My heart is still fill of him n him alone. "when someone occupies a corner in ur heart, he will alway remains there, and no one is able to replace him." Sigh~ i dunno why but i just keep thinking of him, missing him more each day. I knoe that it is immpossible that we will be together again. What's more are aren't toking to each other now!!! Anyway, this coming fiday, i'll be watching spiderman 2 with sultan (my dar). Yupz, company treat again. Hmmm, last nite there was a sudden black out, i think most part singapore experienced it. When the light was sudden out, n my computer just went off, i was shock for a moment, n this time i realise that i'm actually scare of dark. I was finding my way out of my room. THen neighbours were shouting "Happy National Day." wat a joke huh. Anyway, it's nothing special. Just a black out ... just that i've always tot there's nothing to scare abt in a dark. But this time, i'm just very afraid. I dun wan to loose anything or person again. Immediately, when i knew it was black out, i ran to my bro's room for protection. Hur Hur ...*tsk* *tsk* (acting like a little gal). Yupz.
yourstruly crapped @ Thursday, July 01, 2004
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