*** stars ... i see **** stars ... sh*t ... i'm getting the faint spells again. Arghh~ it's been quite some time i get rid of it!!! I dun want it to be back .. it means i will become weaker, getting tired more easily n need more sleep!!! ARghhh .. ROARRR
Get some supplement from GNC today, hopefully it works ba .. for my sinus .. hmmm wee so happy hopefully i'm able to apply leave to go redang on the 29may-2jun ... yuppie .. that means SUNNNN .. yesh ..
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, May 30, 2005
Wee~ so happy, went dance yesterday... but kinda sianz during the class cas not as challenging as i've tot. But anyway, Daniel is just so cute .. sigh realize that his backview so look like BJ, worst same hairstyle as wat BJ has that time.
I was early for class, n i waited for quite some time, still dun see any soul ard except for myself, daniel n the clerk there. Was getting excited ... the clock is approching 6.30 ... still no other soul .. meaning will be a one to one class ... but but when the it hits 6.30 .. 6 pple start streaming in ... sigh~ break my dream ...
Meet mel, myron, steff, elvis, n leon for dinner b4 our Star Wars. We went to NYDC ... ar pasta again .. sianz .. had pasta for lunch then now dinner also the same. Omg~ stoopid leon ordered the dynamic pizza .. arghh burn my tongue!!! i glurp down 2 glass of cold water n myron's milk tea!!! tears start rolling down my cheek, my face turn red! omg~ it's super spicy
After dinner, we start strolling to cine, n halfway thru, me mel n steff bought a bag each!!! yuppie say design but diff colors!!! so happy!!! new bag new bag ... lalala ...
ALright i doze off a couple of time while watching star wars ... my eyes is dry so i kept tearing, then it was so hot n stuffy in the cinema!!! i nv felt so hot during a show in a theatre .. i was sort of perspiring n fliggiting ard .. mel was complaining but cannot blame ... i'm hot n discomfort .. haha ..
After the movie, myron suggested to go TCC for chill up ... yup yup .. got myself strawberries smoothie .. yum yum ...
oh yes!!! my Consumer behaviour was not bad .. i scored 19/20 for essay!!! but again i hate mcq always pulling my marks down .. i only got 22/40
Tada look at our pic ... i like this pic alot .. very cute ...
me (hippo), mel(girraffe) n myron(lion)
alvin boon (the bunny tooth zebra?)
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, May 29, 2005
i finally noe wat i want in life ...
yourstruly crapped @ Friday, May 27, 2005
I'm really confuse with everything now ... after that nite, i start to miss him more. I was thinking of him the whole day at sentosa. This sudden kind of miss really hurts me alot ... i'm bring pain n hurts to the 3 of us. Why am i so insensitive to them? Is this feelin just becas of guilt? Is it like wat adrian said, it's the after effect, it will be alright???
But the fact is i have hurt piggy. He is such a nice guy, why i can't i bring myself to love him as much as i love the other? He has plan the day out to be a romantic one, but i ruined it. I avoid looking into his eyes, i avoided him.
Piggy is hurt now. i noe it. Senior ask me to stop calling him or msg him, he needs time to heal. Yes, i noe it is for the interest of piggy. But it is not fair. ALright, life isn't fair at all!!!
Watever it is, i dun wanna tok abt r/s anymore!!! Nt this 2 yrs in my life. I shall get my deg n move on with life.
I nv be able to handle well in r/s. I'm just suck at it. Always causing trouble n hurting pple. Last yr was like that. This yr also. Maybe i should just be a nun like wat angie said.
The feeling is just so tricky. Eric is rite. I just yearned for a man's love. I need someone to be there for me.
Yesh, the fact is i am selfish, self-centred. I want a man to be there for me but refuse to be there for him.
I'm nothing in this world n does not worth a man's tear!!!
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, May 23, 2005
i dun wan to stay here anymore. i hate myself, truely i hate myself. he is such a nice guy, but yet i can't let my feelings developed for him. Sorry ... really i really really want to say sorry to u ... i dun mean it but at the same time i dun wan to be unfair to u, being with u n yet think of other guy.
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, May 22, 2005
I dunno myself, i hate myself, my brain tells me one thing, my heart tells another. So which is which n who is who? Why am i feeling so weird. For this instance hr i can miss him (but not like hell) n just a min or 2 i have no feeling at all. Have i gotten over him? Have i fall for him? Have i this n that?
Sigh~ i hate thinking n dealing with such thing
I love my class! alright ah boon is now known as Winnie the Boon. Yeah~ haha so fun so fun ... i just love my class esp ah boon, thomas (sexolilogist), adrain, sandy, catherine, nadia, yiling, joyce, kenny, andy. Hee~
yourstruly crapped @ Friday, May 20, 2005
Yup yup, today much better! Finally starts doing hands on for this week. Hmmm i really dislike theory stuffs. Looks like i have not change since young, nv like doing my paino theory n always prgress slower than my practical. N Audrey is in better mood today ... hur hur hur PMS (must be) ... well~ anyway, met up with piggy again today cas he was lock out of his house (forgot to bring his key, believing that his sis will be at home to open the door for him). Yupz, his another purpose is to borrow lappy from me.
Lingz, thankx for the concern. I'm just being paranoid of everything, esp in relationship i really dunno how to handle it properly. Sigh~ i was feeling that yesterday but today i'm more calm. Yah, hmmm, dunch really noe how to put into words just feels that i see potential in this relationship, but i'm not able to open myself like i used to. I can't ... it's hard. Anyway, we both are not that ready for a relationship, erm sad to say i think i am not that committed yet. Time will tell. Sigh~ Sometimes i can miss piggy so much but sometimes i just dun feel anything .. it's just the starting, not yet to make a judgement. Come to think of that, i'm scare. He will be starting his Uni in this June, n he will be staying in the hostel - n bravo ~ less time to meet up. Hmph~ tot his irregular NS hours is bad enough but come this Uni thingy. He will be a full time student stay in the west (hostel) n i am doing my part time deg n workin at the same time. Hmm .... well~ shant' think abt it so much. Time will reveal the mystery n nature will take its course .. if god would like to play tricks with me again .. go ahead ba .. i shant' bother so much .. he has been mean enough last yr ... if he can be meaner .. then let him be .. i shall be stronger!!!
blah ... sui pa sui .. wu gui pa tie dui ... lalala
yourstruly crapped @ Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Alright... today work sucks~ really sucks ... she dun seem to be in good mood~ sigh~ wth there's so many screens to learn lor, n expect me to remember everything without doing much hands on??? Arghhh~ seriously i miss dual 1 .. still the best!!!
Sigh~ not a good day though.. monday blues ..
Met up with piggy today, hmmm a short while though, anyway i'm tired! Sigh~ dunno how to put it across, but i think i'm stuck again. Was kinda happy to meet him, but somehow, when we were sitting at my block downstairs toking abt some stuff. Ya~ we both were not ready for relationship though, but since it had started just give it a try. I dunno why i'm feeling this way, i'm paranoid!!! Arghhh, i told him that i'm afraid to step into the relationship n still have the phobia, yes i'm still feeling it. When he ask me why n wat happen to my last relationship, i wanted to cry!!! But i tried to hold my tears back ... why am i feeling these??? Even now, when i'm blogging, tears is rolling down my cheek! I hate this ...
yourstruly crapped @ Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Yuppie, i finally got my dive pic. Hur hur hur ... Nur said she will be holding an audition to choose dancer for shiek hieker .. hmmm kinda interested but again i dun think i'm good enough for that. Went to the oak for lunch with mel, uncle phua n luc. Yuppie, i got my temp advance card! Alright, was telling Luc abt my sissy lecturer, n told him abt the need recognition n problem recognition thingy. N yesh~ i am rite!!! Need n prob. recognition is two diff thing!!! Hur ... so Zai is wrong all the time when teaching! Hur hur hur ... Luc can teach better i suppose, hmmm i wanna be like him, able to travel ard for his work, being a marketing manager, dive instructor, squash coach, master in musicial, master in marketing. Hmmm~ a bachelor yah ... haha. So i am rite, u cannot have problem recognition without satisfying ur need!
So these are my pic ~ tada~
grp pics
me feeding the fishes
dennis, mel n me
To piggy~
Hmmm… piggy I think I understand wat u mean by bz le. Just now mel was telling me stuffs abt Alvin n Rebecca. Hmmm, okie … I think I understand now abt ur job scope n everything – though I ‘m still nuts abt all this NS stuff. Piggy, I will try my best to understand it okie. Yup yup, n when are u going to get ur gums from me??? If not I going to eat it le!
To my senior~
Senior, I noe u are updating urself from my blog n superbly mad at me now!!! Haha, I told u to let nature take it’s course rite? N I believe u sort of noe that I like him rite? Haha, anyway I also dunno wat u guys toking abt now. But SENIOR, thank ya for trying to match us up huh. See, ur effort didn’t go to waste rite? Hmmm, I did do wat u want me to do rite? So u shouldn’t be mad wat? Should be happy … come on “give me a smile”. =) Hey senior, u ask me to intro a gal to him but but but … I sacrifice myself!!! To actually u to accomplish ur mission!!! Omg … see how good ur junior is rite … keke
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, May 15, 2005
Shag from work n studies ... sigh~ didn't do very well with my MCQ today .. as usual, i nv score in my mcq. .. well~ but i have confidence in my structured essay. Yupz, my all times favourite - essay!
Came back home to sleep straight after the exam, till now i'm still feeling sleepy! Arghh~ another paper to go ... E-commence - killer unit. Hmph! i can make it de!
To piggy -
Well~ piggy, dun think so much okie, i have prepared myself b4 stepping into this new chapter of life with u. I noe that u are always bz, n so does not expect u to reply my sms or phone calls immediately. Plus, we need space for our own too, yah ... u dun expect me to stick to u all the time too rite? Yupz, i'm afraid too piggy ... it takes me alot of courage to actually decide to get into this r/s. I'm afraid to be hurt again ... u noe .. yah .. but watever it is, at least i noe at this moment of time i'm in love with ya ... n no matter wat happen we shall overcome it together ... er huh .. so mission 1 has already set out for us ... yah .. to face him together .. we can't hide forever rite? sooner or later he will still find out, but well~ he had stopped pestering me already - so that's a good sign .. piggy .. nature will take it's course so let it flow yah .. miss u ...
yourstruly crapped @
Happy happy happy ... the only word to describe my feelings now ... =)
yourstruly crapped @ Thursday, May 12, 2005
Alright, I have started doing some case, so it’s not as boring as before. As least I get to reply cust’s letters/fax and also call cust n mail forms n so on. Oh well~ me sis having another assignment coming out. She is ask to go for the audition for a new idol show for channel 5, BUT she will be doin’ her O level this yr, so looks like she might be going to give up this opportunity. Well~ the choice is still hers, so hope she’ll be able to manage her time well. Yupz, had see improvement with her attitude n everything now. So happy for her!!!
Yupz, so excited abt the renovation in my com, we will be getting a ‘L’ shape table. Wee~ my favourite, yah … haha .. Will be having my exam this week, but somehow I’m kinda lazy n tired to study, having only 4hrs sleep per day … sigh~ cannot must REN!!!
yourstruly crapped @ Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Happy Mothers’ Day!!!
Nur was not here today, so lesson was taken over by Daniel – hey a cute guy!!! Woah~ I like his style of dance!!! Very groovy!!! Omg, n he is actually looking at me dance most of the time, yah n giving me confidence in dance! Hmmm, though his chereo may look simple, but he’s more into techniques n essence. Yupz, n he even ask me to demo for the class to see today, Alight, it’s a happy day!!! *day dreaming again*
Accompanied sis for her modeling shoot today. Hmm, the guy was not too bad. Yah~ haha, but it’s fun!!! Oh yah, she will be the main actress for the MTV shoot for her company soon n also for the postcards for the album which will be releasing soon.
Went granny house for mama day celebration in the early afternoon b4 going for the shoot. Haha~ granny tot my birthday is this month then she went to buy the necklace with red ruby for me n another cousin. Diao~ she old le, cannot blame. Oh yah, just found out that my uncle has a commercial dive license. Alright man~ he says he will bring me to go diving next time round n most likely I dunch need to pay … lalala …
Happy happy …
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, May 09, 2005
i'm feeling weak~
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, May 08, 2005
Wee~ Diving is so FUN!!! *ahem* *ahem* “I am an ADVANCE DIVER now!!!”
Yah man!!! Really enjoy this trip, got to see so many fishes this time!!! More than the time during my basic Open Water. This time, there was trigger fishes, paracuters, coral sharks (dead), crab, lobster, Nnnnn DOLPHIN!!!! Yesh~~ I saw dolphin!!! Omg~
Well~ actually I almost failed my advance becas of my sinus. I was left with deep diving test, n becas of my sinus, I got difficulties equalizing when doing deep. Yah, but luckily Luc was very patient with me, so my deep dive was pushed back to the last day of dive. Yah~ n I make it!!! yesh – after so many tries. So on day 2, I only did 2 dive n got to rest on the rest of the day.
Oh yah, I went for nite dive as well. Cool~ it was real pitch dark down there. I can only see wat I shone on. Look left, look rite, look back – I can’t see anything. Kinda nervous, but again I got Luc by my side, haha. So basically this trip, I’m so handicapped becas of my sinus, I’m either attached to Luc or Chris (my dive master). Well well ~ it just so much of FUN!!!
Oh yah, I became the Lady Boss over the nite!!! Haha~ my grp went for the 2nd nite dive, n since I have to rest, so I joined the other instructor to play dai-dee. The forfeit of the looser is to have the other 3 to draw on the face. Omg~ they drew gootie on me!!! Then a d*ck tattoo, then black nose, black cheek! I just look like a man on that nite. Haha~ n that makes me the little brother of the other instructor. It was really a fun nite, for the rest of the grp was watching us playing n drawing.
Me sis went for modeling on Saturday. Yeah~ so happy to sign her up to do modeling, looks like she is enjoying herself, n the best part is I can see confidence coming back to her. =) Well~ she had gone thru’ a lot for the past years n bearing the looks from her friends n relatives is really a torture. Well~ I would say I’m proud of her for having the courage to stand up again n ignore how pple look at her n tok behind her backs. Yeah~ cheer for her. Looks like she is looking forward for her next modeling / hosting project, n hopefully she will get the chance to perform on stage soon. Just hope this can help her to see the brighter side of life n with a positive mindset, will eventually allows her to study better. Wee~
Alright~ the C guy had stop pestering me! Yah man~
yourstruly crapped @ Thursday, May 05, 2005
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