Do you remember your first kiss???Hmmm .. well was discussing with vonny the other day on the above topic.
Haha ... well~ definitely most remembered rite?
Oh rite.. i gave my 1st kiss to J. Hahaha~ but come to think of it. I got disgust by it!!! Arghh~ that time was purely too young to understand r/s. & gosh~ haha ... i can't believe i gave it to someone like him. Arghhh~ while chatting with vonny, i feel a sudden need to brush my teeth n listerine! Yucks! Really yucks! Haha~I dun understand why i used to like him so much in the past. Luckily i met some other guys which make me grow up. Haha~ To be honest, I don't remember how the 1st kiss goes, but is the partner which makes me turned off! Bleah~
Kiss with MJ was ooookkkkieeee. Hahaha~ the feeling is ???? dunno. Dun remember when did we actually kiss though.
Next is BJ! Yupz. The most fantastic of all!!! Perhaps the longest r/s i ever had. Kissing him makes me the most blissful woman in the world. I just melt in his arm. And all these explains why i fall over head to toe for him. Really~ the feeling is just GREAT. The 1st french kiss we exchanged was outside NP backgate - the one which is facing the high way. He accompanied me to sch to return some forms to our dance advisor. Hmmm .. yah. I love the feeling! ... hur hur hur. *dreaming*...
4th person i had is ET. Hmmm .. well~ the one i like most is when we were at explanade. Yups, that one is not too bad too ... but perhaps the feeling wasn't as overwhelming, yah ..
So above all my 4 r/s. I guess BJ is the only serious one i had. & also the most passionate of all. Kekeke ...
Who shall be the next guy??? i wonder .. sigh~ sigh~ sigh~
Anyway, will blog about other events which took place this week. Tonite, i'm tired! Tmr still got proj. Sat still proj! I really dun like MIS. Really ... dun like!
Shi fu, Gambate ok! Cont'd to sing. Sing for your passion!
yourstruly crapped @ Friday, March 31, 2006
I'm sorry to let u guys worry for me after reading my previous post.
Dunch ya worry k. I'm feeling much better after blogging. I'm glad i actually blog in the morning. Spilling out my inner feelings, inner thoughts. Tsk tsk tsk, did not let this "feel" to affect my doings at work.
Sorry Phoebe, sorry lao pa~
Feeling much better now.
Gosh~ having slight eyes infection now. Arghh~ n i m advised not to wear contact lense for 1 wk!!! How can? No contact lense for 1 wk??? Sheesh ... Engracia n the rest force me to go see doc. Then end up got scolded from doc. I was telling him, i dun feel any discomfort or pain in my eyes. Guess wat he said??? "then u want to wait till pain then come see me, izzit?" Arghhh~ i dun feel much better after saying that. So no choice, without my spect at work, i got to leave for home n rest my eyes. Gotten my nap n everything. Come to evening. Thought my eyes would be better, but .. opps .. looks like it is still red. Sheesh ..
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, March 27, 2006
Too swiff so quickly ... sigh~ 2 yrs have pass.
I thought i had erased everything in my mind. I thought so ... But again i have this fear in me. 27.03.2004 .. that's the end of our story.
I was chatting with lao pa last nite. Telling him the fear i have in me whenever i see him in bad mood or angry. Yesh~ i dunno why, but i'm afraid. Thought all these fears had gone. Had disappear in the thin air. But .. ... that day at bugis, seeing his tensed up expression on his face, make me grasp the air. I got chocked by the air. Yah~ the familiar expression ... sigh~ i fear of.
2 years seems to past quickly. I wish i could stand up on my feet again. Somehow, i m still in search of love, i guess. Avoiding guys who have interest in me, that's what i've been doing. I dunno wat i'm thinking abt. Is it the phobia of love in me causing me to be like this. Being defencive of myself? Sigh~ i really wish to know the ans now!!! I dun wanna carry on like this forever, hiding forever! Please God, tell me wat is the next step??? ...
Dragonfruit, is someone i like now? sigh~ search me. I'm not to sure. Perhaps he do have some reseamblance of starfruit? Not actually though.
The reason for not facing my true feelings, is becas i noe i will loose one friend. That's not i want. Becas i regret. I regret even after the break up, i chose to avoid him. I m as stubborn as i was in the relationship. I rejected his offer taking a photo with him during our farewell party. I'm such a ... arghhh~ i wanna scream out loud! I wanna ... i wish i could be at the seaside now! Screaming out loud. perhaps i will feel better? I hope so... think i will go mad one of these days if the lock to my heart has not find the right key to it.
The ulitmate goal in life is ---- death, isn't it? So why are we trying to so hard to live, i wonder? I wish i could vanish now... i wish i could i vanish ...
yourstruly crapped @
Shan't go into details on wat actually happen last nite. Sigh~
Anyway, went to watch movie with S.jon at cine after wat happened. Caught "The hills have eyes". Haaa, both of us was abt to fall asleep in the cinema, but caught "woken" up by the exciting scenes. Keke .. been spending quite alot lately. Better tone down ... yah.
Time to prepare for exams.
I'm so in love with David Tao's "jiu shi ai ni" song. Awww .. so sweet. Lao pa say he would like to use this song to his gf in future. So, i was telling him that it will become an oldies by then.
Anyway, wat happened last nite, really makes me feel that i am so blessed compared to others. I dun have bf taking me as a punching bag, or ATM, etc. I shld feel blessed that all my exs treat me like princess (at least for the time we are together). As least they truely love me yah. *smile*
Hai~ wondering wondering wondering .. thinking thinking thinking ... missing missing missing ...
D - Dragonfruit.
yourstruly crapped @ Saturday, March 25, 2006
EXCITED!!!!
That is an understatement describing my feelings now! Haha~ Oh yeah~ Shifu gonna compete next week again! Yupz! Yahhooo... So happy for him! Ahhhh~ the feelings when weijian got into superstar! Keke .. shifu aka superstar to be??? hmmmm
Shi fu on stage!!! U go man!
Posing?? Hhaa ... hiao lar
*twice* bleah .. kath n myself
Congrats!!! Shifu! U can do it de ... Gambate!
All was fine .. till i reached home, read hanquan's blog n went to this link ---> http://chinese.cari.com.my/myforum/viewthread.php?tid=495237
Arghh~ So super pissed now! Mother fucker! Using the word bitch to describe her is an insult to the femal dogs. Death penalty for her! Step her the way she step the kitty! Yesh. Use stillatos on her. Step into her left ear n poke thru it .. n exits thru the right ear! Hmph~ step right into her anus! then her virgina! Where got hole just step n dig lar! The nose .. go step right thru' it n into her throat! Hmph! .. her belly button too ... all the way till her shit all come out .. step her eyes .. dig it out! Hmph! I'm angry is also an understatement!
yourstruly crapped @ Friday, March 24, 2006
D for Dragonfruit ~ ... hmmm been thinking alot lately ..
Feeling insecure of this feeling .. really .. i dun wan to actually fall in love again .. i fear~
Heck wat's going on .. got to stand firm! i will not want to be weakling .. nv i want! i remember the hurt i went true .. yesh i remember ..
Sigh~ anyway .. shifu will be competing this thursday! Gambate! But ... i gonna miss my show .. my dream chaser! sob sob sob .. junyang ...
Oh yah .. Junyang is the ambassador for KFC! .. hahaa .. will try to love KFC k .. though i'm not very fond of fastfood .. n even so .. KFC is 2nd last in my list ..
Fight-oh-fight-oh .. SHIFU fight! .. Fight-oh-fight-oh Shifu fight! haha
Watched too much POT liaoz .. keke ..
yourstruly crapped @ Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Yuppie .. let me intro u to my new friend! Ok .. got to know this guy from kath. Haha~ actually nothing much to tok about also.
Went to watch V for Vendetta with S. Jon last nite. Hmmm .. a not too bad show. Yah~ new experience for me. Haha~ dunch really watch such show lar. It's a very political show. See the corruption in the government n how things run .. Hmm~ one scene of which the bishop actually hires teenagers for sex! Hell~ Anyway, kinda like the killing scene. Bleah~ i becoming violent! Duh~ my parts of the scene where the people got killed n blood splashing out .. arghh~ it's gross!
Ok .. here u goes .. pics update again!
kath n myself! k3k3 .. we both got big-small eyes! Hmph! my forehead look so high! .. bleah
lao pa n lao ma .. they are happy together again ..
lao ma aka shi fu on stage!
he loves me .. he wanna kiss me .. *muacks muacks*
Juicilious strawberry from Boey .. *slurp* really juicy!
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, March 20, 2006
"hao xiang ba ni chang qi lai ..." this little voice has been in my head for the whole nite ..
Woohooo.. Hark music cafe is cool. Really a nice place to chill. Nice n cosy ambienece. Good, polite n friendly svc. Staff are hardworking. Very good... very good ... 2 thumbs up for that place.
The pianist from afar looks not bad .. he shld just sit there instead of standing up n walk ard! Spoilt it. Really spoilt the image him in me... haha .. nothing serious.. just that he is way too tall!!! n SKINNY too .. like bamboo. Keke .. after some time i realize he look like someone .. yupz SCC Sky. Haha ~
Ok .. the crowds are nice too .. yupz. I love the "feel" u get while sitting there listening to the love songs pple sing. Awww .. so sweet .. n with a cosy position .. hugging the cushion! Gosh~ so sososo MTV! haha
Oh yeah~ Applause for shifu! Gambate .. u sang well last nite so dun worry lar .. u alway sing well anyway. *winks*
Hmmmm .. gonna watch ya compete k k ... go for the 1-hr singer! then strive to be the 1-hr weekend singer! Jia you jia you! We will support u de. After wo men shi yi jia ren!
Ma ma .. wo ai ni! lolx
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, March 19, 2006
I'm bored at home! Arghhh~ finally a weekend at home .. exams are drawing near .. thought of revising today. But .. i got seduced by my bed!
Maybe i just need some replenishment for the weekdays. It's though this week. Seeing my boss in his room everyday. Duh~ Like wat engracia said, i've become the boss's favourite.
-_-'''. As if wanna... the cases i got are sucky as ever. Maybe i should really go trim my hair n cut away the "bad lucks"? hmmm ..
Yupz, gonna blog abt this!!!
After dream chaser on thursday nite, n i said i gonna fall in love in my dream! Oh yes i did! haha ... but the him who appeared in my dream wasn't dragon fruit. It was someone else. Yeah .. haha .. but i nv thought of him for a long time n neither had i met or contacted him for almost a yr!! haha .. yupz, he's NIGEL - the Li Hom lookalike! Arghhh ...
haha .. i wanted Dragon fruit in my dream though .. but dunch noe why. Anyway, this dream realise that i have not contact him for a long time so i tried my luck to msg him on my way to work. Ta-da he replied! haha .. but asking who i am. Duh ... that's so typical of him ...
After knowing who was it! Gosh~ he replied saying that he misses me! haha .. n gave me a hug! I m really overjoyed k... really. Oh yah, 1 important thingy! He still calls me "xin". The feeling so so so .. hmmm how shld i put it .. er sweet??? haha .. yah .. miss him too!
Along our conversation .. bleah he calls me - silly gal. Haha~ very long nv had anyone calls me that. He used to call me that anyway. Haha~ just just just imagine .. dragon fruit gonna use that on me. Awwww it will be so sweet rite? Hek hek hek, having ur sweetheart calling u cute names .. heee *blush* *blush*
Emirates gal gonna fly back soon .. so i pushed away the "shopping appointment" with azlin n jean so to have dinner with the rest. Yupz, looking forward to it! n jul, u will get to see her soon .. dun worry ok!
yourstruly crapped @ Saturday, March 18, 2006
I can't stop thinking of Dragon Fruit today ... sigh~
Now i truely understand the feeling of missing someone yet that special someone does not know that u actually miss him/her ---> this feeling sucks.
yourstruly crapped @
I dun noe why .. but i think i miss Dragon Fruit's presence ...
Sigh~ now i truely understand why they say the saddness thing is missing someone but that special does not noe that he/she is missed by u ..
Blog abt my day tmr ...
good nitez
yourstruly crapped @
The reason i love thursday ---- Dream Chaser!
Awww ... i wanna fall in love again! Look at the sweet start of AJ n Lynn (JY n Kelly in the show)'s relationship. Awww ... it is just so sweet... Look at how AJ look at lynn!!! Arghh~ he is still so sweet lor .. be it in the competition or in the show. .. JY is just sweet k! He is my sweety pie! wahaha .. Erghhh .. i love his smile! Melt in his smile! arghh ... so pure n innocent. Gosh~ i wanna be in the show as well~ haha ..
Really~~~ pluuuuueeeeesssseeee ...
Yupz, finally got thru' this draggful week .. erm at least going to finish it, yah? It's FRIDAY tomorrow!! Wee .. can sleep more liaoz.
Oh yah oh yah! Not to forget wat i bought today! It's Orchard point 2nd anniversary n OG is having a private sales!
Went there during lunch break. keke~ so happy got myself 3 bras! cheap cheap leh. I love the blue one most .. so sweet~ haha .. n guess wat i got it for like only 39.90$ n it comes with a panty n a lingerin! Oh yah .. my 1st lingerin! haha .. very nice i have tried it but it's big lar .. free size - duh wat u expect rite? haha .,.. but it's really very sweet!
The white one is nice too .. yupz, sweet n demure .. haha very cath leh .. with some pink flowers emboidery on it.. wee
Finally got myself the stick on bra too! hhaa ..
I love my bras .. duh~
Shall go sleep n fall in love again~ ..
Thinking of u .. you yi zhen hao
yourstruly crapped @ Thursday, March 16, 2006
Thanks lau pa... had read ur post.
Haha .. u actually uploaded those pics of cath n shi fu .. kke cath really has many expression on her face when eating .. glup glup glup ..
hek hek sorry to have worried u so much .. sigh~
Work today wasn't happy at all .. everyone is having bad mood ..
It's easy to say not to bring emotion to work .. but sometimes it just can't help it .. especially doing something of which u are not keen in?
Anyway .. hope ah kee jie jie will bring me good news on the pay. .ke ke ..
Sheeshh i hate the feeling of missing someone .. DF ~
yourstruly crapped @ Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Omg Omg Omg .. our Emirates gal is back! Yuppie Rasidah is back in town!!!
Celebrated geri's bdae at Fish n Co. Keke .. so nice seeing these gals again. There's gina, huiling, xiuling, geri e birthday gal, myself n our VIP -- dada dada dada *drum roll* Rasidah!
Weepee ... happy happy happy .. crapping with geri again .. keke .. i miss this gal company! haha .. remembering those good old days yeah .. bleah .. always kenna bullied by her .. now the same though .. haha
Yupz .. after fish n co .. we slacked at PS Mac .. yupz haha .. without buying any drinks .. keke .. anyway it's really a heart whelming session with the gals .. i miss them ..
Gosh~ i miss lotsa pple .. Sigh~ too little time too many things ...
Under paid .. Over deliver .. -_-'''
yourstruly crapped @
Oh yes .. i did ask for an enlightenment in my previous post .. nv expect God to ans me this fast.
Met adrian, hanquan, lix, n cath for project today. Would like to apologise to everyone for my suky attitude today. Only lau pa knows why .. having too many things rumbling my head .. lau pa .. thanks for encouraging me to persuade my passion .. a passion which i have buried in me for a long time .. a passion which i chose to ignore .. a passion which i chose to hide from .. running away from ..
Definitely i am not in the mood of doing proj ... can't take any nonsense today .. sorry.
I have been thinking of the same things while on my trip to meet them. Was telling myself .. if only he was here to help me decide again .. to give me advise ... those were the days .. always supporting me when i'm leading .. waiting for me to finish my proj in sch till late nite .. till the library closes .. helping me to complete my proj till dawn while allowing me to sleep by his side .. why? i dun understand why are u treating me so nice in the past .. i m so stubborn .. so childish .. so petty .. why are u tolerating my nonsense in the past .. why ...
Just when i was staring out in the air .. a familar soul walk past .. yes it's him! finally i got to see him .. though it's from afar .. though not face to face .. but i'm happy to see him again .. though it's just a few sec .. but i'm happy .. NO i dunno if i really m .. all of a sudden my heart shatters once again .. time seems to pause for me .. everything seems to stop .. i dunno why .. but i m really shock when he walked past .. my heart seems to stop for a few sec .. it took me some time to wake up .. thinking i was dreaming .. yes it's him .. definitely it's him .. he is wearing the same outfit .. track pants n black shirt! .. nv did i tell him that i like to see him in black plain shirt .. it makes him look more shuai n man ..
I feel like hiding myself in a corner again .. i wanna cry .. but i gotta put on a strong front! yes i need to do my proj ..
Proj discussion soon ended but i have no idea wat we had actually discussed .. seriously .. though i've tok many things but i dun remember wat i had discussed ..
We went for dinner at billy bombers .. fighting away my tears .. so much so i wanna be a coward to run home to sob in my pillow ..
Went to the new shopping complex opp of bugis - Trendy Zone ... well~ not in the mood to shop either .. my mind is just wondering away .. hoping that he will be nearby once again .. my eyes is wondering every where .. inserach of him ..
dunno how to explain my feelin now .. i just dunno how to react to it ... serious .. i dun have the feel of missing him .. i dun have the feel of loving him .. i dun have the feel of wanting to be with him .. i dun have the feel of wanting to talk to him .. i dun have the feel of wanting to hug him ..
perhaps above are all false .. perhaps i am running away again .. i dunno wat i'm really thinking about ..
i m glad my stubborn tears has decided to flow down my cheeks once again ..
putting a smile everyday it's not easy ..
yourstruly crapped @ Sunday, March 12, 2006
Why is there so many things to think about in life?
Sigh~ hmmm shld be happy .. dunch sigh dunch sigh
Met up with S.Jon, walk ard in town, went to Imodels for interview n watched Big Mama2.
Right~ 1st thing to think about .. to join Imodels or not? Really not sure .. but definitely they seem more genuine than M5 concept. The boss seems nice too. Hhaa .. but too bad he is not very shuai lar .. duh~ anyway my interview lasted quite long .. chatted with him about scuba diving n gosh~ he went for sky dive!!! i want too!!! He was saying that he is planning to open a new company for scuba!!! that would be so cool rite? Maybe i can go diving for free huh .. keke .. but back to the question .. shld i join Imodels?
After movie, met up with Alvin .. yupz Alvin Goh!!! Woah~ it's been so long since i last saw him. Haha~ really long .. i dunch even remember him knowing that i was with Bjon before. duh~ haha .. my memories is failing. Hmph~ we guys had really grown .. hur hur hur .. he isn't as playful and cocky as before. Yupz ! we all are old now! haha ...
Oh yah~ and we met suraiya too! hehe .. i feel so bad.. i've been telling her that i will consider going back .. but till now i've not! where's has my dance passion gone too?? I really love to dance .. that's explain why i enjoy myself so much during clubbing! not becas i wanna show off or anything .. but i just wanna let the rythm to control my body! I love the feeling! I love the music in my soul! Su .. if u are reading this .. please let me noe when u're going back k .. as u noe .. i really feel akward going back ..
Was convinced by the guys to go MOS again. Yupz again ... this time we went in early and finally got to dance!!! yah. I mean space to dance! haha .. that's becas we occupied the podium! keke .. chasing pple out of the podium! that's was so doop! having only 3 of us on the podium n grooving to the music! People cheering us on! Woah ~ rock the house baby!
But my mind is full of things during the dance. I dunch noe why .. but i'm actually thinking of dragon fruit during the dance! Duh .. wat is going on??? hai~ then i'm thinking of NRA production. I wanna be a part of it as well .. but i really dun dare to face Ann again. I m such a looser! Why am i giving up my passion just becas of wat happen in the past. I was so childish .. perhaps even now .. sigh~ SJon had been asking me back as well .. but somehow i feel that once we go back together he will be with the breakers .. then wat abt me??? i m no longer close with jean they all .. GG that's wat he say .. hai~
3 things in my mind :
- Imodels?
- Dragon fruit?
- Production?
I see a blurry path ahead of me once again ... please enlighten me ..
yourstruly crapped @
Moody ... Grey ...
Craving for ice cream! ... arghh~
yourstruly crapped @ Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Feeling superly bushed these days.
Shanice is having PMS. Really!
Just a short post on cousin Eunice's 21stbdae. I bet it was an enjoyable time for her! Yah~ having her 1st bf there celebrating with her. Hmmm .. quite a nice guy, spontaneous yah --- ever ready to get wet to protect her during those water games. Cleaning her up after we smash cakes on her face and drew her beautiful lips. Hmmm .. awww so sweet.
er shen is helping eunice to enhance on her "cherry lips" haha ...
look ... bee-tteee-ffuulll .. is it not?
Bleah ... here u go .. deee-lee-CiouS ...
I hate this PMS feeling ... yah .. was browsing starfruits' blog. Hmmm .. Why? Why all of a sudden i feel ... No its not true! Arghh~ i hate myself.
yourstruly crapped @ Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Definitely an enjoyable weekend!
Celebrated Grandpa's 80th birthday n Coz Verdic's 12th birthday on Saturday! Wee~ got lotsa nice food, but seems that the standard of the restaruant food had drop so much. We had the usual dishes - "shou pao" (longevity bun), "Shou noodles", "cold dishes", "shark fins", "lobster meat with eggs", "gim-ba-lo" (seriously dunno what is it called), "prawn ball with salad" yupz and lastly there's "almond jelly with logan". Yummmmilliiioouusss ...
I love this rekindler feeling! Hee ... having all aunts, uncles and cousins gathering together! haha .. yupz
Straight after my grandpa's celebration, went down to MOS to celebrate Val's birthday! hek hek hek .. Party! Wee
Haha .. not in the mood of drinking .. n definitely i dun like the taste of Chivas ... Yucks ..
The Retro room is still my favourite in MOS. It's fun dancing with David. Really~ he is such a joker. Heek ... U go man!
Finally met up with S.Jon. Haaha Vonny said he look like Jacky Chan's son (opps* i dun deny that's was my 1st impression of him too ---- during the Chingay rehersal when we were in Year1 .. )
There's so many catch-up with him. Boy... i miss u so much. Thanks for your company that nite. Yeah~ haha .. looks like i really lost the groove in me. Hmph! I will definitely go for the production provided Ann still wants me .. hek hek .. i'm fat n no longer flexible (not as if i m once but at least i can shake) haha .. i can't do "hey mama" anymore .. duh .. alright .. we shall meet up soon yah! Maybe to the beach .. hek hek
Boiiii .. look how much we had grown!!! haha ... no more catching .. hur hur hur ... Talking about taking 106 from your place to mine. haha .. our Chongqin steam boat, taking care of me in Korea, cheering me up during my sad times, I love u boi! Always missing ya company. We shall hang n slack ard soon yah .. perhaps u can arrange a gathering with pple from our batch? haha ... i still remember the movie watched with ya n B.Jon! haha .. Meanwhile, enjoy our single life yah.. haha ..
Accompany Azlin for awhile. This gal got so high!! Lolx. But she's really cute. Saying things straight from her heart ---- so innocent and naive! I loving this gal more. Hmmm .. but she's not at work today. Perhaps she is embarrassed from wat happen? haha ..
Alrights~ Finally got to the beach! Weepie. I love the SUN n the SEA!!! ... Did a little suntanning with jason n andy. Yah .. only 3 of us in the morning.
Gosh~ Andy is good! He played well in badminton, volleyball n friss bee!! YESH! I manage to catch fris-bee with one hand! Haha ... yesh, i'm getting better!
Shifu, Car, Car's bf, bubbles, ginger, sop and caris came at ard 2pm. Hek hek .. tried getting bubbles into the sea... she is so cute! really look how graceful she swam!
Hek hek ... leaving Sentosa at 5 plus 6. Yah, everyone is tired from the long nite. Shi fu, car, car's bf and andy had mahjong while me n sop were at MOS and jason (er dunch really noe wat he had but i know he slept at ard 3plus am.) yups...
Sigh~ a disappointment. Maybe we are old. Hmmm the peeps at sunset bay are so young! GOsh~ look wat? they are like 15-17 yrs old??? arghhh~ ... this is irritating! I love kids .. haha .. not big kids at least ..
Anyway, i love both companies on Saturay and Sunday! ... Most importantly i LOVE Lucky!
yourstruly crapped @ Monday, March 06, 2006
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