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"... waiting for u to call me on the telephone .... say u want me back...." Sigh~ why am i feeling down down down again??? WHy why why??? Sigh~ i'm thinking abt him again. Saw their msn pic just, well are they really that close now??? Sigh~ i'm thinking more n more each day. Why am i keep giving myself false hopes? Why am i keep thinking of the past? Going to his house, spending time together, massaging him on his back, covering the blanket for me at nite, saying good nite baobei, holding hands, our 1st kiss, our 1st date at the zoo, lying on his shoulder, sleeping on his lap, my bdae, his bdae, our 1st broke up n patch back, all the msges he sent to me, the sentosa trips, KTV session - hua cai tian tang, steam boat, christmas gathering with his family n friends, national day with daphne n her bf, CNY celebration at my place, his place, ah kee jie jie house, ah eng jie jie house, ivan's house, christmas celebration at alex's house - he got angry with me becas i was too sound asleep n nv hear him toking, 2004 count down @ boon lay n WQ house, and all the wild things we had done together... I miss him? I miss him not? Sigh~ one thing to say "I LOVE HIM". Somehow, i just relate every moment of my life with him, watch movie also think of him, sleep also think of him, every corner of my house just has his appearance, how am i gonna get out of this world??? DEATH - silly girl, wat are u thinking abt??? Hai~ already leave sch le why are u thinking much? IF u love him then set him free, let him be happy! But i just wan to be with him, i've come to a point dunch mind having a third party in the relationship as long as i can have him, hug him, to love him. Tired ~ i'm really tired in walking ard this circle. When am i ever get myself out? ANother 2yrs? Like wat i had done for J*mes? I've finally forget one, n learn to love one, n now i have to forget this one. Didn't he say he will love me forever? Cherish me? Taking good care of me? Hah~ even toking abt sex after marriage life. He told me to trust him when we were in our 1st stage of our relationship. Saying that he is committed n so on. I was even planning of marriage, family, no. of kids, n blah blah. Still remember at WQ house, b4 we were together, we were toking till dawn, he said he wanna get married at the age of 30. I still remember lotsa lotsa things. =(

yourstruly crapped @ Friday, July 02, 2004