Tired ... finally one more week had past... sigh~ come back from leave, sales are so just so shitty!!! i'm at the bottom of the list now... come on i have to climb back to my top5 positions!!! Arghh~ i'm getting tired n sick again ... pple left .. n pple leaving .. today is jen's last day, hmm will miss her ya? Well~ zann n siew hui just tender today, they are leaving too... hmm, me??? waiting for sch reopen.. but somehow, i'm nt excited over it now... yeah i'm accepted into UWA, but why am i nt excited at all now???
Wed came back from work, mum was toking to dad abt her conversations with my aunt in the day. Somehow, my aunt's words was too blunt n straightforward which angers my mum. Topic, shall nt go into details ... when dad sees me, the 1st thing he told me was "gal, study hard n prove to them!!!" this is the 1st time he uses such serious tone on me!!! i was shock ... but still remains calm ... after his sentances, i've been thinking abt studies all these times... i'm afriad i might let them down, what if wat the fortune teller words are true? getting myself into relationship will nt do any good for my studies, n worst - i might nt even get my degree. Sigh~ can u imagine 2yrs nt having love life? when all ur friends are sweetly attached, yet u got to be single n alone!!!! nevertheless, i want to be a filia daughter to my parents, all the time i am wat-they-think, the most mature, obedient, hardworking, daughter... but in my heart... i am confused... is this wat i want to be? i dunno abt my life, i'm nt happy at all, does anyone noes? i dun think so ... on the appearance, i always put on a front, showing them i am independent, i can do it, i am happy with wat i have now. BUT NO NO NO ... i am not!!! i m confused, i want to enjoy life, i want to dance, i want to be out of singapore, i want to be love like i used to be ...
------ a shorter life for me please ......
yourstruly crapped @ Friday, February 04, 2005